Writing is hard. Writing for an income is even harder.
As I send out query after query, the self-doubt threatens to suffocate me. I’m worried that my query was awful, that my first chapter is too long, too boring, and too full of mundane details that are necessary to understanding the story. I’m worried that I’m jumping the gun, that I have too much faith in this story.
But I continue to write anyway.
I want to believe that someone out there will fall in love with this story. I want an agent to realize why I am so drawn to these characters, filled with angst and probably too realistic for their own good. Anton with his self-doubts, Luke with his determination to return to Amelia, Jeremy and his desire for Rohays. Each of my heroes are at lengths fantastic and realistic, and I’m hoping an agent will realize how easy it is to relate to these people, despite the gap separating them (you know, the “travelling between galaxies” gap).
I have sent out my query to 33 agents, and heard back from 3. One said that my writing is polished and poised, so I’m taking that as encouragement. The other two gave me nothing but despair. I cant hate them for it though – that’s their job.
I will continue to mail out my query though, because nothing can stop me.